As I take the first few strides into 2024, I’d love to take some time to reflect on what the year 2023 brought to me and mine. The ups and downs. The wins and lessons – no losses right. The good times and the bad.
Around the end of last year I read a great article that planted the idea of participating in this thought exercise. The challenge was to reflect on the past 12 months and note down moments that made 2023 memorable to me – both the positive and negative moments. This exercise kept me grounded and helped me understand the concept of “no man is an island”.
The more I thought about this activity, the more I realized that it had a secondary benefit in that it would assist me in understanding how far I had come on this journey and what the next steps would be to achieve the goals I had for this season. I’ve written down a couple of incidents I felt comfortable sharing under the win and lessons column and I hope that this would encourage you to also participate in this exercise. Who knows, maybe this could also help you get the boost you need to start 2024 on the right foot.
Wins
- Thesis accepted: I think the highlight of this year was submitting my Master’s thesis and having it accepted, meaning that I have completed my graduate program! Realizing that it took a couple of years to accomplish, while working and raising a small family made this achievement all worthwhile.
- Rugby coaching: Rugby has always been a central part of my life, but what can you expect from a Fiji boy right? Though I’ve missed playing the sport I love, this new chapter in my rugby journey – coaching – has been incredible. Having the opportunity to coach rugby at the collegiate level in the United States, with an elite women’s team like the Brigham Young University Cougars, has rekindled my love for this sport.
- Networking: A goal I had for 2023 was to expand my network exponentially via LinkedIn, X (formerly Twitter), and the good ole personal contacting. This was a personal achievement, given that I’m an introvert who wouldn’t dream of cold emailing a complete stranger two years ago. I’m most proud that I’ve gotten over my fear of rejection when it comes to this win.
Lessons
- Consistency: One of the greatest lessons I’ve had to really come to terms with this year is this – that I’m really inconsistent! I begin a project, assignment, task, and job with a lot of steam and then I just slowly lose interest and stop. It’s led to me to lose momentum and growth. I’ve had to regrow my audience time and again. I’m just glad that I’ve finally admitted that this is a lesson I have got to learn!
- Procrastination: Another lesson I’ve tried to deny needing to learn throughout my life. Again, I’ve hindered my own growth because I left tasks too long. Last week I came across a great IG reel that broke down why we procrastinate and the first reason really got me. Procrastination is not the avoidance of a task, it is the avoidance of the pain triggered by a task. It’s avoiding the anxiety you feel when you have to do something new or scary. It’s avoiding the fear of the unknown. Realizing that has been a breakthrough for me!
- Rejection: As I said before, I’ve unofficially completed my Masters and so I started sending out applications for a couple of academic programs I wanted to pursue after this. I just received word that one of the programs I applied to rejected my application. The rejection itself wasn’t the lesson – it was learning to deal with the fear that rejection brings. The fear that I’m a failure, I’m a fake, that I’m never going to make it. Being able to have someone reminding me of my worth – my superwoman wife in this case – really helped me understand that this wasn’t the end of the world. I was reminded that being afraid that this rejection meant that I’d be rejected everywhere else is a silly fear to have, especially since it’s out of my control. Realizing that I should only focus on the things within my purview has been freeing to say the least.
As I wrote the lists above, I had the urge to also state some of my goals for 2024. I feel that this stems from the second reason performing this exercise is such a great idea – it allows us to focus on the next set of goals. Here they are:
Goals
- Content Growth: I want to grow. I want to consistently put out thoughtful and insightful content. For this goal I intend to continue to push great content on my blog and social media platforms, while also focusing my efforts on creating a podcast. I believe the podcast would really bridge the gap that I’ve felt has naturally come because my content is written. I know not everyone feels the desire to consume long essays when the in-things are TikTok and IG reels. Hopefully having a podcast and vid option will address that.
- Consultancy Development: I’m driven by the desire to share the knowledge I’ve gained in lived experiences, academically, and professionally. I intend on creating a consultancy in Fiji and catering the Pacific. I intend on ensuring that businesses and organizations are given the necessary guidance that comes from scientific research and analysis. I intend on helping individuals understand themselves better so that they may become more effective, efficient, and marketable. I intend on making a dent in the business environment in the Pasifika.
- Horizon Expansion: I intend on venturing further away from my comfort zone. I’m committed to creating a team and individual development tech that focuses on creating an effective and sustainable team by working on developing individual team members. Pasifika-based and pasifika-focused. I intend on expanding my horizons in every aspect of my life as well. I want to continue to learn and grow. I want to gather more wisdom, more knowledge. I want to expand my social circles – longer tables, not higher walls. I want to share all that I learn to all who would listen.
To say that writing all this down has been a great exercise is an understatement. I feel ready to take on this year. I feel fire up, I feel stoked, I feel good…as long as I remember to stay consistent right?
I’d love to leave you with the exact same challenge! Here are the steps:
- Reflect on 2023.
- List your wins.
- List your lessons – no losses just lessons.
- 2024 goals.
Let me know whether it makes a difference!
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Alfred Tora 
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