One of my favorite hats to wear is being a rugby coach for the Brigham Young University Women’s Rugby Team. For a little context, we were promoted to the highest competition in the USA women’s college rugby, Division 1 Elite, where we faced the best of the best. We had spent the last few years as Division 1 champions but our head coach knew that if we wanted to develop our players, we had to level up. Bearing all this in mind, I wrote this short piece in our team monthly newsletter. I talked about our ups and downs, the lessons we learnt, and most importantly, that we either win or learn lessons, no losses.
While I wrote this for the team, I felt it selfish of me if I didn’t share this with you and, hopefully, you can get something out of it.
On a cold, wet, Georgian afternoon, as we gathered for our team devotion before heading off to Life University to face the Running Eagles, our head coach, Jared Whippy, threw me a curveball and asked me to bear my testimony. As I stood up, I was reminded of how far we had come as a team since beginning this journey together a few months prior. The ladies were fitter, stronger, closer, and most importantly, they all shared the same vision for what the team could be. This didn’t come easily though! We witnessed this transition take place in the long, hard practices we put them through when they would rally each other to complete their objectives. We witnessed it in the wins along the way when all of us executed our roles perfectly and ran the system we had been taught. Most importantly, we witnessed it in the hard times when the going got tough and our ladies were taught valuable lessons about themselves and the team. With all this running through my mind, I spoke about how Rugby is a great metaphor of life. We’re taught that obstacles, trials, and tribulations are set in our path so that we can develop individually, but we’re also taught that we have the strength to overcome these things.
As this semester comes to a close, I believe I can speak on behalf of the coaching staff, the leadership group, the support staff, and the players themselves, when I say that we have had a successful time together. Nelson Mandela once said “I never lose. I either win or learn”. We have had a lot of learnings this semester but we stand resolute that this is the season of sowing and rebuilding. As a team, this semester has only made us want to win that much more. We, as a team, have caught the fire to pursue that vision of being a top tier team in the national level, while also producing women that will make this world a better place through their careers and callings. Rugby teaches us the principles of discipline, determination, teamwork, and endurance – values that these ladies will take with them throughout their lives. Lessons that we continue to instill into every practice and every game.
Lastly, we as a coaching staff, are honored to have been trusted to be teachers of the game and guardians of these strong individuals. If there’s one thing we’ve learnt, it is that Rugby is a great unifier of minds and people. These women came into the program as individuals – from different states, countries, cultures, academic interests, and life goals – but as we come to the end of this semester, we have become a family with life-long bonds. We have future doctors, lawyers, teachers, accountants, and construction moguls that have had their own unique challenges to overcome this semester – be it with rugby, the classroom, or with life in general. It is our greatest hope that they continue to ponder upon how they were able to navigate those obstacles and take these lessons forward.
As we prepare for next semester we hope to have your continuous support! UP THE COUGS!
The gist of it all?
When we encounter struggles, obstacles, or hard situations, while having a growth mindset, we can always come out on top. If we win, we get out on top, and if we don’t, we get to learn a lesson. Don’t be a defeatist. Don’t have a cup-half-empty mentality. Every struggle is a a chance to grow. Every obstacle is a chance to learn. Every hard situation is a chance to win.
Alfred Tora 
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